Show me your meat

It’s gonna be very difficult for me writing this post, simply because there are so many punchlines that can be derived here, I could just list them one by one and have enough material for entire post, and yet I’m supposed to say something meaningful, or at least express my opnion... at your expense of course.

First the bitch is back, both of us, Gaga and Miss Opinionated. I must give it to her, she made a better comeback. She looked just plain delicious in that dress.
Before you judge Gaga as a bitch in a meat dress you need to be corrected, she is a FREE bitch in a meat dress.

I have no idea what point she was trying to prove wearing nothing but protein, but I sure was amused with everyone’s reaction. Vegeterians, vegans... I mean, why are they even allowed to talk? “She offended us”, oh boo hoo. Go raid animal experimentation lab or something. Eat some protein, man up.
I wear dead animals every day, I also eat dead animals every day and I don’t feel bad about it, not for a minute. I think vegetarians are being prejudiced one here. Live and let live, no? If animals could stand up for themselves they would, but they can’t, it’s a matter of survival. We fought our way to the top of the food chain, we were once the pray.
I just think that vegans are people with way too much free time on their hands. Let Gaga wear meat. No, maybe I don’t respect animals enough, you’re completely right. I believe that cows were put on earth to serve as dinner to the rest of us, okay?

And if I ever have so much time on my hand as to go pick a cause to fight for, I would start with saving underprivileged human beings! There are plenty of them who need meat and all other kinds of goods, like clean water and medical supplies. So no, I won’t be protecting cows, while there are children starving.
And no, I do not believe in organizations who exist to help them because they’ve been around for decades. Decades! And haven’t done a shit (forgive my french).
I do not believe in collective guilt, but I do believe in collective responsibility. And I do believe we are responsible. One of us can do little, all of us, we could do a lot.
I would suggest we all stop using diamonds as jewelery. It’s just shiny stones, and imagine if there were no demand, there’d be no production. And that would mean less children with guns in africa.
Oh, but you don’t care about children in Africa? Do you now? No, of course not, why would you. No one cares about that anymore. It’s way more important to talk about LG’s meat dress (which was btw prettier than most other dresses on MTV awards, yes, Ciara, I’m talking about you).

Or we can all collectively start hunger strike as of tomorrow, all of, entire civilized world until our leaders do something to help starving children in Africa. And I really mean do something, not just pretend to do something like they usually do.
But you wouldn’t want that either, now would you? Again it takes to much effort and it involves actually doing something on your side! Damn, we need some kind of hypocritical cause to fight for. Let’s bake cakes for underprivileged children and single mothers, and sell them to our other overprivileged friends and neighbours so they can get just a bit fatter, that will sure help.

So, seriously, get over yourselves and over Gaga, if eating (wearing) meat was the worst thing that’s wrong with the world, I’d consider us lucky.

How do you feel about marzipan?

I am sure you’ve watched Forest Gump, it’s such a lovely and inspirational movie. Even an evil sarcastic maniac like myself loves Forest <3. And his moma was right - life really is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. Well except if you go to one of those fancy chocolatier shops and pick the pralines you like. Still most of us just put up with what we get.
But what if you keep getting truffles with marzipan and you really hate marzipan? Do you spit it out or keep on chewing? Do you swallow? Good girls swallow you know, but I really hate marzipan, even when it’s covered with chocolate.
How did Forest Gump stand against the marzipan truffles? Against the world, against the bad odds and chances? Simply, I believe – Forest didn’t know he doesn’t like marzipan.
Forest was born mentally and physically challenged, with an IQ of an average model (75), and that considered, rethinking the world we live in, you would have thought that all odds were against him. But no! Think again. Dumbness pays today.

According to genius professor Anthony Giddens we live in a “runaway” world. To put it simply for the Forest - like minds, that means that the world is constantly running away from us (thank you captian Obvious!), the moment you think you have it all under the control, you have absorbed everything – information, inventions, technologies, (fashion trends) – the world takes a step forward. Something new (and big) happens! Such world can easily drive us mad because it’s constantly out of reach, which apparently is bad for our mental health; people like to have things under control. When the world gets neurotic, we get neurotic.
Forest was too stupid to realize how big the things that were happening around him really are. Most people would take significant amount of time to ponder on any of those events if they had happened to them, and while doing that, they would lose all the other chances that Forest took, while they would be still calculating the risks – Forest would already be finished with the whole thing.
Only when you don’t know things, you can go beyond them. If you are aware of significance and risks, if you are aware of what you might lose, the chances are your fears will leave you in one place your entire life. When you can’t see the broad picture on the other hand, you go for whatever you want. There is incredible freedom in having nothing to lose. Not that any of us have anything to lose, we just think we do, again, because we’ve been convinced so, again, because we’re oh so much smarter than Forest.

Out of every marzipan truffle Forest ate, he only tasted chocolate. An average citizen of civilized world today would have to be slightly mentally retarded to undergo everything the runaway world serves him and stay “normal”. Forest went through life unbelievably calm, taking things as they are, we on the other hand, over-analyze everything.
The best thing about Forest is that he was too dumb to know that he can not make it in life, so he made it. I can only wish to be that stupid.