10 April 2010

French men are so gay, it's not even funny

All French men are gay. ‘nuff said. Seriously. Okay, okay, let me elaborate, French love that, long meaningless “deep” discussions.
But first, let me begin with a joke, just to put you in a good mood, better safe than sorry, or something like that. So, why does every army, except Israel, need to have a French flag on them at all times? In case they want to surrender of course.

Now, the serious stuff. Let me tell you, France is a pretty decent country. On the “Quality of life index” France is a regular number one, as the best country to live in. France indeed has everything, well, except three things: 1. Winter, 2. Summer and sadly… 3. Straight men.

So what’s wrong with French men? They are gay, scared, feminine sissies. Very submissive and quiet, yet so full of themselves. And even though most of my opinionated opinions are based on nothing else but plain subjective biased prejudice, this one I didn’t just make up. And I haven’t been horribly hurt or dumped by a French man, so this is not revenge either.

First, let’s debunk some myths. French are great lovers. Right. LOL
Seems that the only people who think that the French are great lovers… are French. Go figure. In a Dailymail poll of sexual satisfaction the French came second from bottom. How sad. But how do you expect those sissies to be good lovers anyway?

Now doing a research for this elaborate article, I’ve come across several articles about all French men being gay, all written by I would say angry women. If it were angry women making scientific conclusions, it would be a very well known proven fact, that as it turns out all men are assholes. But they are not. Probably. Now saying all French men are gay is like saying all priests are pedophiles, ah, that gives you something to think of! Well, are they?
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Problem with French men (yes, it is a fucking problem, and not to be taken lightly) is their femininity. Yes, it’s good to be somewhat in touch with your feminine side, but for god’s sake leave the undying love for new female couture and spa visits to real gay guys, or women?!?

Let’s review some facts about the French men:
1. French men know if your shoes match your dress. Other men just see you’re wearing something and you’re not barefoot.
2. French men recognize your perfume the moment you enter the room. Other men think you smell good.
3. French men only make love, they never have sex. Other men can do both.
4. French men groom more than you do. Other men will now have to look up the word groom in a dictionary.
5. French men read philosophers so they can pretend to engage in meaningful discussions with you. Other men think Kant is a new Bayern München sweeper (French men will now have to google sweeper).
6. French men think sports like squash or chanbara are actual men sports. Other man LOL at them.
7. French men are as skinny as their girlfriends, probably so they can borrow a pair of skinny jeans now and then. Other men know you’re not a man if you don’t weight 100 kilos at least.
8. French men think proteins are endangered birds. Other men eat them.
9. French men melt in the sun and break apart in the winter. Other men don’t respond to weather conditions.
10. French men will never survive the zombie invasion. Other men won’t either.

Truth be told, besides my boyfriend, I only know one other French man who is not gay, and hearing his voice alone will make you cream your panties in less than 10 seconds. And girls, I am selling his phone number, for 100 Euros per digit, feel free to contact me any time.

93 comments:

  1. Funny! :D
    Mr. Mafioso

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    Replies
    1. I'M FRENCH AND I TELL YOU WE ARE NOT GAY (some are) BUT NOT EVERY ONE. YOU ARE A RACIST PERSON.

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    2. Reading this answer I realize really that you french are gay!...

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    3. French men are really gay that's why French women are with foreigners,trust me I live in France and all French men are really homo.

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    4. French men are really gay that's why French women are with foreigners,trust me I live in France and all French men are really homo.

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    5. Ahah you reatard

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    6. A country that has won more than 90% of its wars and is ranked as one of the five major military powers in the world can hardly be accused of having sissy men.

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    7. You are hilarious! More than a bit edgy, but I don't mind that. And if you ever lose your boyfriend, I'll happily make love to you or fuck your brains out... I might even give you the choice, despite the fact it might make you think I'm gay! LOL

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  2. wasn't buying all the ruckus on French men, happy to find this counterpoint

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  3. You don't know what you are talking about. Just a note research the following men then come back and revise your article:

    Marcel Bigeard
    Jean De Lattre De Tassigny
    Roger Vandenbergh
    Jean Larteguay

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    Replies
    1. All french are gay pricks. They think there men but really there pussys with there skinny jeans. I fucking hate them

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    2. Says the anonymous twat.

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    3. This is true they are fucking pussys ,they will pick a fight then cry when you bearly hit them.

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  4. Also research Oliver Gruner and David Doullet and lets see if you can continue saying all French men are gay sissies.

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    Replies
    1. Well known cock suckere both! Its insult for men to call french sissy boys men!

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  5. French men are simply more civilized then "other men."

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    Replies
    1. That's stupid to say, tho I don't believe all of this I find cultures that breed overly feminin men to be weak because up until the modern era men were expected to be the tough back none of nearly 95% of things in life now Adams it's more like 75-85% but my point is breeding weak men does not mean your civilized just means your going against nature

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  6. Listen Yvonne Retard,
    French Gay men = small French population right?
    So why does France have a higher population than a lot of countries in western europe? and to be honest i think that men in skirts (Scotland) look a lot more feminine than skinny jeans dont you think?
    'nuff said :P

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    Replies
    1. That's stupid too the Scottish are men who aren't afriad to fight, work there asses off, and get shit done while the 4 French people who work at my job who just moved here complain about moving a couple boxes

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    2. France has a high population for a european country, that is true. However it is illegal for the French government to do racial statistics. There was a non-government statistic done and showed most births in France are from foreign couples or from one parent born from another country. Most of those one foreign parents were the men. The immigrants from the Middle East and Africa should be given credit for most of the French births and many of these Arabic and African men come too France to find an endless ocean of horny, lonely, and unsatisfied French women.

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  7. As French guy, I'll prefer to be considered as gay than stupid. Thank you for your concern.

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    Replies
    1. Go suck some cock and stop complaining, fucking sissy

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    2. I agree gay is better than stupid like this article and the cunt who wrote it.

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  8. I think French men are gay! 100% gay! Damn homos! >:D

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  9. Through our history the French aren't extremely special they like to call their culture different from Italians which it's not cuz they copied it, they love foreigners and were the forerunners who created the gigantic racial and cultural change in Europe "Muslims and other races immigrating" and they always get their asses kicked in war some would like to point out Nepolion but he wasn't French he was italian, they like to kick honest Germans when their down "WW1 " that are snobby even when people show them kindness and their women have the blue waffle

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    Replies
    1. first it's "Napoléon" and he's french from "Corse" try to work on your geography.

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    2. "they always get their asses kicked in war some would like to point out Nepolion but he wasn't French he was italian, they like to kick honest"
      open a history book and learn. "Napoleon" was Corse, so french (it will be the same that say people in california are not United States citizens). France was the country which made and won the highest number of battle in history.

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    3. Highest number of battles lost in history.

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  10. All french people are gay becuase hey dont have a good military. They tried to get colonies in africa and ended up brining AIDS back with them. And that paratrooper leilou is a dumb socialist with AIDS. Am HIV postive about that.

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    Replies
    1. Well, France has the 5th best army, has nuclear power, the best demographic rate in europe, is the second most powerfull country in term of diplomacy...

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    2. Plus, they are permanant member of the UN and are members of the G7. Plus, they still are a very powerfull country in Europe. If they go to war, they will sue us. (and reciprocally)

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  11. P.S. All french people are liberal pussies. And you stole french fries from Belgium ya fags.

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    Replies
    1. French people do not call it french fries you are the ones who do.

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    2. Yeah we call that 'frites' and you were the ones calling that French fries because you couldn't make the difference between Belgium and France. I love English people but you are so United States of America and the rest of the world. You are criticizing France but you don't even know France you're all like 'I know France: Paris and everything'. Seriously you're able to quote one town ? I'm fucking impressed ! So before criticize French people or France, get to know them/it ! Thanks.

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    3. Frites is a pretty gay name for anything

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    4. Conservative asshole.

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  12. I hope this is not to be taken literally, otherwise you are just as stupid as your article. "French men are gay", seriously?! I don't know which part of France you are from but we must not talk about the same country anyway!
    ps: if you can't use sarcasm, don't try to use it -_-"

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    Replies
    1. Its well know fact that you can just suck cock or take it in your ass. You food, music, culture, behaviour and language sucks and so do you.

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    2. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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    3. Thank you for your service and good luck finding him!

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    4. "Gorilla" warfare...

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    5. Is that when you beat someone to death with a banana? It's spelled guerilla you fucking moron.

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  13. IT'S TRUE! MY FRENCH BOYFRIEND IS SO GAYISH...

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  14. For my own defence I AM NOT! We are great and straight! (My girlfriend is formidable<3)

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  15. fuck u french guys
    beat them all until death

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  16. Stop with all of the homophobic and insulting answers. Look at you, spreading stereotypes when most of you probably have never been to France. And of course, you all are going to bring France's history against her. Well, let's talk history. France is a nation that stands independently today, unlike countries that have fallen such as Persia, etc. Yes it was occupied by Nazi Germany, but so were many other countries. It didn't have the advantage the UK had, being an island nation. Ireland was occupied by Great Britain for a long amount of time and Denmark went through 400 years of lost battles, but no one frequently points this out as an insult. You obviously don't understand the culture and should consider washing your mouths with soap, surely that should help. This article is a bunch of rant crapped out of the mouth of a woman who was sexually unsatisfied with men she chose to date from France, which was her choice based on her preferences and taste which is accredited to her likes and the impressions given from these several men. Lady, here's a hint of advice: if you want to "cream" your panties in ten seconds, don't date a French man. Voila.

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  17. This article is a piece of trash and so are most of the comments! The author clearly doesn't know what she is talking about and is sexist. "Now saying all French men are gay is like saying all priests are pedophiles, ah, that gives you something to think of! Well, are they?" This statement can't be a serious one, can it? And if men knowing about things like fashion or other things typically designated as feminine is a problem for you shouldn't things that go against a typical feminine role be wrong to you as well. Personally, I don't think you know what you are talking about at all and I very highly doubt a real French man would ever fall for a dumb cunt like you!

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  18. I'm French and not even gay...Kill me please.

    A simple french guy.

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  19. Funny because it's true

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  20. Damn. This is so true. I met a french guy who said that he had experience with a guy and it was better than with some girl. Also, I saw a lot french gay guys. They are all sick. Poor french girls.

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    Replies
    1. Yes. Poor french girls. That's explain why france has the biggest natality ratio in europe...

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  21. I AGREE. AND I'M FRENCH, AND I'M GAY, SO, IT'S ATRUE FACT.

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  22. Yvonne, you state "you’re not a man if you don’t weight 100 kilos at least." A man would have to be 6'6" to weight 100 kilos and not be obese. Perhaps King Henry VIII's physical stature is your ideal of manhood. In any case, you can kiss my ass. While you are at it you can go fuck yourself. If this is the best you can do in your "use of sarcasm and humor," good luck finding an "intelligent model or funny gentile" as you are clearly not a match for either of them. Have you ever had your IQ checked? What a bitch!

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  23. Wow. I think I have dropped 20 IQ points by reading this blog entry and it's comments. Even as a straight male, I also be called gay than stupid. You straight Americans just sound idiotic with all of your cussing and homophobic comments.

    Vive la France!

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  24. « La fierté et la bêtise sont faites du même bois. »
    Proverbe allemand

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  25. Et les anglais sont immatures ! '-'
    Enfin j'dit ça, j'dit rien...x)

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  26. I m gay and it's so difficult to tell if some French guys are gay or not just because they like to stay together with guys rather than girls. So fb photos are full of their guy friends.
    American guys are too sexist, I find. They see girls as a piece of meat.

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    Replies
    1. Oh, and your gay-ass never looks at men as a pieces of meat, do you? Why, of course not.
      Get over it...

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  27. I am European ( not French but i am close to the border ) and i think this is stupid .

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  28. French people thinks english men are gay and it is as ridiculous as your text.

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  29. Oscar Wilde and Boy George are french. It's well known.

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  30. If you're ever in NYC and get a chance to go out to The Statue of Liberty, look up it's dress....It's packing a dick!

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  31. I'm French and i found this post very funny x) No, but seriously, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 8 are absolutely wrong, actually as a French i think that redneck are more and more common, so you go there, and find me someone with any kind of culture, class or good clothes. you go.

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  32. Ahaha ! Ok then ! I'm french guy. And few "facts" in this article are true ! There is like 40 pounds (20kg) of weight difference between french men and, i don't know, german men. We don't work out, that's not a popular activity like in Germany. But a large (very large) majority of men (me included) in France don't know a shit about mode, perfume, shoes or whatever. A lot of men are juste basic male, do not generalize so fast. You are spreadin a rumor that is very bad and we do not need more bad image than we already have (france = gay, rude, dirty; damn I mean look at chineese and american tourists they don't show good image but still we don't talk shit about them, well not too much). I like the humor in your article, but i don't know if you are serious in your judgement or not. If you are you had probably met the gayest french of the country and you lack some other points of comparaison. If you're not I just misunterstood what you wrote.
    And yeah, the comments 'bout war : vietnam and Irak for US, Napoleon wars, WW1 and WW2 for germany, Afghanistan for UK, I mean they all lost war in a pretty bad way. It's not because we got ass kicked during WW2 that you think french men are gay, it's juste a pretext to laugh at us. The 3 last french army big operations were actualy great military succes.
    I don't know why i'm justifying anything, screw you, and like we use to say " Allez vous faire voir chez les grecs" (translt: Go fuck yourself in Greece; as we consider, in France, that all greek men are gay).

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  33. I am french, i am sensitive, i take care of me, i am not ashamed to cry, i am attentive .... so i am gay !!
    Damn !!!! my wife has married a gay !! How to explain that to my 3 kids ???

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    Replies
    1. Maybe you thought she was a dude

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    2. Maybe he accepts himself (and his wife accepts him) more than most of the other men including you.
      Aaah. Stupidity.

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  34. French men are not gay. Now stop with these stupid stereotypes! >:(

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  35. Ta grand-mère la reines des putes celui/celle qui a écrit l'article.
    Cordialement.

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  36. This "blog" sucks. No wonder she/he vanished.

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  37. I hope this article is just for sarcasm..

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  38. Yvonne, you're right about the french fries (yes, we refer to them as fries) being gay. However, you need to curb your ego a bit. Not all men are troglodytes. On the other hand, women are, per se, pathetic little creatures who are parasitic in nature. Deal with it. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
    With regards,
    A sentient being...

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  39. Long live Portugal and we are the European Champions. The french are really very gay, since they have been defeated they can´t stop complaint. They are really guy!!!!

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  40. French not only are a bunch of faggots but they also smell like shit. Their women don´t shave their arm pits and then put their daily bread there.

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  41. French are sore losers. Ridiculous country. They should quit football (soccer) and use their hands to wash themselves instead.One of the shittiest countries in the world. No wonder they were Nazi´s bitches.

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  42. French have a gay-ish culture, still, French have a culture. A proper one, when everything is not americanized or europeanized. I wondering why people living in America have the constant need to convince themselves they are the greatest nation throught the only ounce of culture they have ( besides music ) : Cinema, pop culture and everything about images. almost 80% of the picture we consume everydays are from america, dealing with america with an american imagery, well, this softpower is maybe powerfull in other countries, but what happen with people who really live there and by the night watching an idealized version of their life? why don't they watch more exotics things ? In France we have a serie based on the way america turn actually into cinema and pop culture called Plus belle la vie, this serie has a bad reputation and only oldie like that, for me some american estimate their proto-culture are our grand-parents like to watch plus belle la vie

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  43. Hi i'm a french man.
    If you're a man i would be happy to put my thumbs in your eyes and smash your face with my hands.
    If you're a woman i would be happy to fuck you to death.
    Come in the South of France, asstwat. So i could meet you.

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  44. this is hillarious, I have been to France once and know a guy just like you described though I certainly do not condone effeminate men there certainly can be a matter of deceiving appearances and a guy looks like a fag and still turns out to be a good kind of man in bed (with other women I mean).

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  45. Fils de pute de ta mère la pute
    Why you say that ?

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  46. LOL
    You think we're gay because you english speakers are so stupid !!! You are fucking scumbags. We've got taste, that is why you think that. We just have to look at how you eat, thousands years of evolution and you still not know how to cook. Anyway, keep going to the gym and hope you gonna die soon asshole

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  47. FUCK YOU! We have different cultures, at least, we're not as fucked up as you are you damn fat Americans.Your country is the only country to make those selfish sites to make you look better. Bravo, country of the FATTIES !

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